d3/109,013 words

Haven’t updated for a while, because I’ve been in the full swing of revisions. I can see why so many authors say they hate this phase. It lacks much of the energy and excitement of earlier phases, and is littered with second-guessing and frustrations. It also seems endless.

Nonetheless, I am continuing to leverage several relationships I have forged over at FWO (three in particular) who have committed a good chunk of their time to helping me through my story. It is turning into a quite effective beta read.

Okay, current progress: 25 chapters revised to d3, which at this point means, incorporating initial beta reader style feedback, a polish pass for filtering and other stylistic things like that, and completing my own continuity notes for the story. The read-back right now weighs in at 66,027. I have to add a missing chapter next, then I have to continue d3 for the remaining 14 chapters.

I have some detailed beta-feedback up through about chapter 10 (all three critters have given me info, as well as a lot more through 6). It is clear that I’ll need to sort through the feedback and make a lot of changes… many minor, but several major. Things like the technology/Adonis disparity between the Elevated and the non-Elevated is a driving subtextual issue that doesn’t get mentioned. That is a single example among many. Then stylistically, I still get a LOT of feedback that my writing is too heavy handed. Too many signposts, too much inner reflections. When I do the d4 revision, I’ll need to put a lot of effort into leaving out things I *want* there, or I *think* need to be there, and try to lead the reader there emotionally instead (and trust them to get there).

Timeline-wise, I am moving more slowly these days. It took me about a month to revise the last 12 chapters, at which rate I’m looking at another month to complete revisions on draft 3. Then I need to do some thinking. I have several cool ideas brewing for another story, and there is a certain argument for putting this aside to get creative distance and starting something new. However, I also want to finish this and officially wrap on my first novel. Not just for the learning experience, but to make sure I really do it. I am not sure which way that will go yet. Some revisions I can probably make immediately, but some may require distance… and I’ve only received beta feedback for the first third of the book, so who knows what else might come up.

In other news, I updated my map recently, and I like the new version a lot. This was changed to reflect the spacing from Nerthia to Silvius Center as being ~3 days on foot at a slow pace, and Nova Domu to Silvius as a single day on horse at speed. I need to tweak it again to make the river through the forest more realistic… I am told it should flow to the coast more immediately.

I am getting a lot more confidence as a writer, but I do have lows where I lose confidence in this particular piece of writing. I made a lot of decisions early on that are too difficult to write-out now, and so they complicate things in a way I feel could have been avoided up front. Things like the many specific and scientific details of how the Scar moves, which are important to the plot. If it were any one thing, I could foreshadow it, etc, but it is so many that it is just too much to tackle. The character issues are a little over-done as well. For my next story, I think I can tone it down a notch. All in all, I have moments where I wonder if this is strictly a learning experience. Right now I am feeling more positive about it. I think it is all fixable stuff, and I think there is a good story underneath, it just needs the right coaxing to get out.

d3/108,382 words

Interacting with users over on FWO has made a fantastic difference, and I feel truly fortunate that so many people are willing to spend their free time sorting through my writing (Milena & Ailian in particular!). To put it simply, they are unearthing tons of things that need to be addressed. Some is stuff I worried about myself, and they have confirmed with resounding unanimity. Others are things that I totally missed, but upon reflection, are definitely real issues.

I’ve basically gotten through chapter 6 with everyone I am working with, and there are enough structural changes (mostly to the characters) that my old roadmap for revisions is out the window. I am starting over now on what I am calling draft 3, and it will incorporate my own notes and the feedback from the beta readers.

Getting this kind of feedback has been an interesting experience. I go through moods, first feeling like this whole thing is FUBAR and I should just start something new, but then feeling like I can fix it. I am a little discouraged by how far off I was on many things, but then again, this is my first writing project. What could I expect? The key here is to learn everything I can, apply it to the later chapters on my own, and hopefully get better at this whole game as I go. Processing feedback seems to kick off a few days of writers block, but when I come out of it, I feel good about where to go.

Another bit of feedback I’ve gotten is that some of my settings lack enough description. I am really kicking myself, because all of the examples highlighted are places where I vigorously cut descriptions in my attempt to lower my word count. It would seem I went overboard, and took too much away. Given the new course, I am once again not focusing on word count. I want to get this right first, then I can worry about that. I am going to add back in stuff that I liked or wanted, as there is no need to be that parsimonious with my words just yet.

The biggest projects for the next couple weeks are as follows: 1) Re-invent Nick’s POV so he can be sympathetic, and the reader understands what he actually wants and thinks. 2) Make some decisions about Evaya’s Sensing ability. As attempted in chapter 2, it is just way too powerful to not play a larger role in the plot. I need to adjust this. 3) There are a few key chapters that readers are finding contrived. I worried about this, and my fears are now confirmed. I need to rethink this, as well as some chapters they haven’t seen yet (*ahem* 20 and 26), and make it work.

This is definitely a setback time-wise, but the chance to really propel forward with a more compelling and engaging story, so in the end it is a win.

d2/110,646 words

I’ve continued to work with Skylark over at FWO, and had a few bits of feedback from other users as well. Although it is a little unsettling being told about all these issues, I do have to say I feel way better about the story after incorporating feedback. There really is nothing like an blunt, objective, outside review.

I have 9 chapters edited to draft 2 (and a few incorporating beta feedback), and I’m feeling good. I seem to be able to clean the draft at 2-3 chapters per week, which means I am looking at about 12 weeks to get this thing in the bag. One thing to note is that the cleaning process is also including a heavy polish and word-cut round, so it is really hitting d3, and d4 all at once. We’ll see if I can skip over those as separate iterations when the time comes, but it seems possible at the moment.

Last thing of note, is I’ve managed to cut about 3K words over 9 chapters. I know of a few places I need to expand things, but on the whole I think I can hit 300 words cut per chapter… which should bring me to just about 100K words total. Hopefully that is a good place to sit for a fiction debut.

d2/[4 of 40] 112,229 words

I have completed revisions on the first 4 Nick chapters. I feel good about this so far, but it is hard to do all this cutting and tweaking. It seems like things constantly come up I want to check or revise. I’ll do two more Nick chapters next so that I stay with his sequence and follow his arc, then I’ll go start Evaya and catch her up to where the meet. My new length goal is 100K words, which means a lot more cutting… about 10% chapter by chapter.

In my notes for the chapter changes, I also mapped out where they all should be in their arcs, and noted if I need a scene to emphasize this. I’ll incorporate all this during my pass through the text.

I connected with Skylark over on a fantasy writing forum and we have started workshopping each other’s novels. She has an interesting story that I am enjoying critiquing. She has also provided me some critical outside-reader feedback that I never anticipated. Two things in particular he said was that the secrecy of Spawn operations in the Citadel is unclear… and she is 100% right. The answer is that Spawns should be public figures for military/state uses, but totally clandestine for his ‘personal projects’. However, I was not expressing this in the chapters at all. The other thing is that she thinks I have overemphasized Nick’s guilt, and that as a reader, she can sympathize with how he must be feeling. Also a very useful point. I might be trying to hard to shove the sensations down the reader’s throat, instead of trusting to the picture I am painting to invoke the feelings naturally. It is hard to share stuff with other people, but there is no denying the feedback is crucial to improving the story. Thanks Skylark!

On that front, nothing from Mark Lawrence on his site. Didn’t expect anything, but I would have loved the chance. Ah well.